Forget what they tell you on TEFL courses. Students do not come in boxes labeled “young learner,” “adult” or “Business,” and nor do they have levels.
I have lots of individuals now, and they are all bananas. Maybe this is because I put posters up in all the cool cafes.
Thomas is a beginner. He wants to improve his english because he is an aspiring Qi Jong and chinese medicine master. By october, he needs to be fluent in all maters relating to china, airports, and the body.
Chris is very good at English because used to play ping pong for France, but didn’t get any medals when he was in the olympics.
Laura is an accountant. She needs english because to get a better job, but is far too busy to do homework because she is playing Ptonk or riding horses or going to the country side where there are no problems
Stella is from the Ukraine. She is one of those astounding people who speaks millions of languages already. She just likes learning them.
Margarita is a graphic designer. She photoshops pornstars to make them look like barbie dolls. I have no idea why she wants lessons.
Jan is Spanish. Jan needs me to work on his song writing with him which he does “in what ever language the words come to him in.” Jan is a Very Spiritual Person (!), and doesn’t know how he learned the English he knows. (You heard it on the TV Jan, and what you’re singing makes no sense.)
The Fronce Familycomprise Johan, 14, Miriam, 49, Grandma Fronce, 82, and the two dogs Tommi and Bibi. They all need to learn english all at once in three weeks, because they are moving to Paris.
Delphine, 11, is already fluent in English because she goes to international school. She needs a teacher with whom she can discuss english literature, go on walks, and watch films. She has a burning ambition to become an interpreter for the army. Delphine rocks my socks.
(Miguel. Miguel isn’t my student, he’s my housemate. He is multi-lingual because he was in Cirque du Soleil. I just wanted to tell someone that.)
There is no way in hell I could have predicted the responses I’ve had to my badly spelled adverts, nor, that in a week or so, there is a high chance I will have to leave all my students to go and conduct a childrens orchestra in Andora.
I should open my eyes sometimes. Teaching English is hilarious and life is really quite exciting.